So my last blog was relatively angry and negative. I just wanted to blow off some steam and it’s nice to write down the worst of my feelings sometimes. Greg ended up calling me the other night and it was a really good conversation. I told him that I’ve locked into a pretty cohesive project and that I’d love to record it with him. He is currently waiting to hear back about a full time job opportunity and so he wasn’t able to commit to my project in any way. I guess the major take away from our phone call was that he seemed genuinely invested in me as a friend and songwriter. Sometimes I can get so bogged down with insecurity that it’s hard for me to believe that someone would actually like who I am or what I do. He said that he really enjoys working with me and he hopes he can make it work, but he can’t commit yet. For me, just to hear him say that he actually digs working with me was maybe all I needed to hear. Greg is relatively reserved, and I tend to be a little manic and over-the-top-emotional, so again, I appreciated the affirmation. I really need to keep working towards self-love and self-confidence.
I am really super excited about my house show gig on the 20th. I’m trying to keep my cool, because there’s a chance nobody will come and anything could happen really, but I think I’ve prepared a really great set. I was talking to Sarah today and I told her that I feel very proud of myself. I told her that I feel that I am a really good songwriter and that I have a lot to offer as an artist. It’s not everyday I get to feel this way, so it’s nice to bask in for now. I have a really unique intuition for melody and song structure and I feel that I have a lot of relatable things to say. I know that I was destined to write and perform.
I feel very grateful for Sarah today. I always do, but she continues to just blow me away with her maturity and wisdom, and I am deeply attracted to her character and personality. We’re so different, but I feel we have something very special and that we will be together for years to come.
I’m off to go drop off resumes.
Oh, also. If you read my last blog, I was definitely over exaggerating about the whole marriage and religion thing. I guess I have a different take on things nowadays when it comes to relationships and spirituality, but I shouldn’t have been so brutal and angry about it all. I love that my friends are getting married and I feel honored to be a part of their big day. My dad used to always say this: “i want you to care about it because i care about it”. In other words, you don’t have to share the same viewpoint or passions as someone else, but you do have to love them for who they are and invest in their lives.